everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
