Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
