yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
