i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
