So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
