Me. At least after what I've been through.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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