I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
