I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
