Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
