How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
im holly from the hills drunk
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize