We won't sleep together?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
