You can't special order awesome
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you had me at cake vodka
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
