I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's just like the Real World with babies
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Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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