I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
