Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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