I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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