im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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