I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
