u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
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the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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