so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
