You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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