I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize