i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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