why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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