You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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