I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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