I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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