I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
