my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
