Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
