Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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