She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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