very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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