I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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