Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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