i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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