someone threw a dead crab at me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't think brook has ever known best
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's the barista slut.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
