He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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