In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
