mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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