question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
