He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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