i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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