Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.