They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.