New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
