he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
