we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
