as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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