Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
