At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
