so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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