Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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