Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
