That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
