The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize