Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
