actually, I'm a sock model
I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
