chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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