I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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