about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
