You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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