I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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