So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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