when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
there's paper in my vomit.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
