But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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