I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize