Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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