He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
